I fight against sexism because I want to be my complete self without conforming to rigid definitions of gender and masculinity. I fight against sexism because I want to be close friends with people all along the gender spectrum. I fight against sexism because I want to engage with other people’s minds instead of getting confused about our bodies. I fight against sexism because I want a clear picture of what it means to connect with my partner through sex. I fight against sexism because I don’t want to be confused about any of these things anymore.
As a cisgender male, I’ve got a lot of reasons to fight against sexism and male domination. Below are a few of the main reasons why I decide to fight.
I fear violence if I don’t conform with rigidly defined genders.
Since we’re children we learn gender stereotypes and the specific ways they say we…
Al Jazeera speaks with prominent Muslim feminists (a blogger, several Twitter users and the founder of Muslimah Media Watch) to discuss Western images of Muslim femininity and what it means to be a feminist in Islam.
“Are Muslim women unable or unwilling to stand up for themselves? Femen, the self-identified ‘sextremist’ women’s movement, says it wants to fight for Muslim girls everywhere. But plenty of Muslim women say they neither want, nor need their help. After Femen launched its ‘International Topless Jihad Day,’ a wave of responses by Muslim women rejecting Femen’s tactics circulated online.”
Jezebel posted an article today about a new series They’re All So Beautiful, which addresses the phenomenon that is “yellow fever.” Hearing from the men who will only date Asian or Asian American women as well as the women impacted by their fetish brings to light several problems. Asian and Asian American women are exoticized, objectified and assumed to represent a single monolithic “Asian culture.”
Tying in Edward Said’s Orientalism and Sheridan Prasso’s gendered take on the concept, Callie Beusman writes for Jezebel:
By admiring the perceived docility of Asian women, what these men are truly doing is expecting docility. Again, it’s not uncommon in romantic relationships to have unrealistic expectations of your object of desire — however, if these expectations enforce an ideology of difference that posits the “West” as more authoritative and powerful, they’re hugely problematic.
I know Ray J as “Brandy’s little brother” or “that guy who was in Kim Kardashian’s sex tape.” This week, he came out with his new song “I Hit it First,” which I would like to retitle “Just Wanted to Remind Everyone in the Most Misogynistic Way Possible that I Had Sex with Kim Kardashian Six Years Ago.”
Although he never says Kim’s name, Ray J makes reference after reference to her to remind you who he’s talking about (despite the fact that he is now oddly denying that it’s about Kim and saying “It’s about a concept”). The cover is a mash up of a paparazzi picture of Kim at the beach and her current boyfriend Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy pixelated album art. Then Ray J hits the listener over the head again and again with lyrics like “She might move onto rappers and ballplayers but we all know I hit it first,” “I had her head going north and her ass going south but now baby chose to go West” and “We’ll make another movie.”
Honestly, the whole thing makes him sound pretty desperate to be associated with a reality TV celebrity. While I interpret this as sad and pathetic, Ray J seems to be quite pleased with himself. Half of the lyrics are dedicated to how whenever he goes to the club women (“boppers”) are all over him “and I don’t even put in work,” how he is the best at sex (“I know that I hit it the best,” “I gave her that really bomb sex”) and how whenever he goes out he always leaves with “something.” And by “something,” he means a woman if he wasn’t clear enough before that he thinks women are playthings.
These are all typical (and offensive) topics for male artists these days. There are a couple of things in “I Hit it First” that made me particularly uncomfortable.
1. Explicitly calling out real women: No one wants to think that as you are pregnant and in a happy relationship, some guy you had sex with six years ago is publicly making salacious comments about you. It’s creepy and such a violation to think that (even if you’re a reality tv star) your body and sexuality can be called out at any moment.
2. The notion that Ray J somehow “owns” Kim Kardashian: Ray J credits himself with Kim’s success (“I put her on”) and incessantly talks about her coming back to him. Worst of all are the lyrics: “No matter where she goes or who she knows, she still belongs in my bed.” Apparently, once a woman has sex with Ray J she is on call for him for the rest of her life.
3. The Bobby Brackins verse (no, I’ve never heard of him): He starts out with “I give her no dough, but I gave her 10 to leave,” because apparently he is so popular with women that he has to pay them to get some time alone. He then raps, “I bet I hit first unless you took that girl’s virginity” to indicate that he assumes that he is the first to have sex with a girl unless he has evidence to the contrary. He also declares that he “love[s] anything with ass that walk by.” I don’t think he has ever met Kim but he still says, “Yeah you love her, yeah you hug her and you kiss her, she dome me up” because if a woman is in a committed relationship, she is probably still having oral sex with someone else. He reiterates that at the end of his rap with: “And I still hit it while you lonely and you miss her.” And because calling out one woman in the song wouldn’t be enough, he says he “Be knockin sisters” with Tia and Tamera Mowry (two twins that are not only in the entertainment industry, but also both married with children).
After releasing the song, Ray J admitted that his older sister is pretty upset about it. I wonder why.
In the newest issue of Vogue UK she says, “I do believe in equality. Why do you have to choose what type of woman you are? Why do you have to label yourself anything? I’m just a woman and I love being a woman… I do believe in equality and that we have a way to go and it’s something that’s pushed aside and something that we have been conditioned to accept.”
Beyoncé has always tried to uplift women and promote gender equality from songs like “Independent Women” and “Run the World (Girls)” to her charity work with Chime for Change or for International Women’s Day. Sexualization aside (that’s another debate to be had), I don’t think anyone can say that Beyoncé’s Super Bowl performance was anything but an incredible display of talent, strength and pure confidence.
But, as she says, she’s “just a woman” and not every woman. She now publicly calls herself a feminist, but not a feminist icon. She doesn’t claim to be perfect. Like many women, she has struggled with how to be beautiful without being reduced to a sexual object, how to be in a loving relationship and express her feelings about it without coming off as subservient and how to be a wife and mother but still an independent woman. Just because she is not the “perfect” feminist (if that even exists) or still struggles with internalized oppression and how to be successful in an industry still heavily reliant on oversexualization and traditional gender roles does not mean she can’t be a feminist.
Likewise, calling her new tour “The Mrs. Carter Show” doesn’t disqualify her from being a feminist either. As she says in Vogue UK, “I feel like Mrs. Carter is who I am, but more bold and more fearless than I’ve ever been. It comes from knowing my purpose and really meeting myself once I saw my child. I was like, ‘OK, this is what you were born to do’. The purpose of my body became completely different.”
Clearly, Beyoncé has never been just Jay-Z’s wife or girlfriend–the title of her tour is tongue in cheek. In the promotion for the tour, she is dressed as royalty and treated as such. There is no mention of a king and her left hand is on display and ring-less.
This is her first tour since taking time off to live a more “normal” life and her first tour since becoming a mother. Her status as a wife and mother is now integral to her identity and she is embracing it. She sees motherhood as her true joy and calling, but it hasn’t made her docile and passive; she says she new feels “more bold and more fearless” than ever before. And what’s wrong with celebrating that and her marriage?
Beyoncé hasn’t given any reason to expect that she will now define herself by her marital status, so why is calling her new tour “The Mrs. Carter Show” such a big deal? Why can’t we all just get the joke inherent in the juxtaposition of “King Bey” and “Mrs. Carter?” Why is it so strange to think that she can possess both of these identities?
A recent Jezebel article looks at how fast food restaurant Carl’s Jr. combines of sex and hamburgers to draw in customers. Some (like the one featuring Paris Hilton) give no more than a few seconds to featuring the hamburger and are so over the top that they almost seem like a parody. They all rely heavily on the male gaze to titillate their audience and make the consumption of a burger into an explicitly sexual experience. The ad featuring Kate Upton is probably the most repulsive.
Many of the women in the ads have successful careers (a new ad coming soon features Heidi Klum). These ads are so blatant in their objectification of women that I can’t see anyone agreeing to appear in them. Even Padma Lakshmi, the award-winning host of Top Chef and author whose fame ostensibly comes from having a palate more distinguishing than your typical Carl’s Jr. enthusiast, agreed to pull up her dress while telling a sexually encoded narrative about hamburgers and licking sauce off herself.
Carl’s Jr. boasts the slogan “More than just a piece of meat” and at this point I’m convinced that this refers only to their hamburgers because it is certainly not how they treat their spokeswomen.
Recently, Zerlina Maxwell (a political commentator and activist) went on Fox News to discuss the gun debate in the context of rape. I have posted the video clip below, but basically she said that telling women that they should carry guns to protect themselves for rape blames the victim rather than rapist. She proposed that instead, we should teach young men not to rape.
I was inspired by her ability to speak so eloquently on an issue that (as a rape victim herself) probably struck a raw nerve and the way in which she remained poised and adamant throughout the interview. She was strong and smart and I loved that she said “Tell men not to rape” over Sean Hannity as he tried to close the segment with his own viewpoint.
I was also shocked by the knee-jerk response of Hannity and Gayle Trotter when Maxwell said, “We can prevent rape by telling men not to commit it.” Immediately, Trotter jumped in laughing the idea off and saying repeatedly “No” while Hannity started ranting “Criminals will not listen.” I was even more shocked when Maxwell started getting harrassed on the internet for her comments. Below are a few responses she has received:
Honestly, I’m not completely sure where the hostility is coming from. Is it because she said that men should be to blame when they rape instead of their victims? Is it because she doesn’t want to use the fact that women are raped by (this of course is the stereotype and oftentimes not the reality) physically strong strangers in dark alleys to keep gun laws loose? Is it because she wants there to be an ongoing discussion about consent in schools and homes? Is it because she is challenging the dominant narrative about why and how rape happens? Or is it just the fact that a Black woman had something intelligent to say and she came off as Hannity’s equal on his show? It’s probably some combination of these.
What’s truly striking is the racism in the attacks Maxwell is receiving and the sexualization of the violence that these men would like to inflict on her. If anything, the response proves Maxwell’s point that rape is not something that happens on an individual basis and is perpetrated only by people already labeled as criminals. It’s clearly a culture.
The comments made towards Maxwell come out of an intense rage (born out of one reason or another) and these men know that the most hurtful way that they can communicate this anger with her is to threaten sexual violence. The threat of rape here is a way to control Maxwell and police her discourse. The hope is that the fear of being “raped and your throat slit” will keep her silent.
These men (like those who believe that women should prevent rape by not going to bars or dressing provocatively) are saying that rape is the punishment for women who think they should be equal to men. If a woman wants to dress provocatively or get drunk at a bar or even say that she should not be blamed for the violence against her body she needs to be put in check. She should be at home, remaining silent and controlled by the patriarch in her family. If she steps out of line she should be “gang raped” into “common sense.” That’s what rape culture tells us.
Then there’s the other layer here of racism. These are only three of the threats she received but two of them contain racist language. One establishes Black men as rapists by saying, “I hope u get raped. And killed. By an out of control black man.” Not only is this clearly a racist stereotype (the sexually deviant, physically powerful, aggressive, criminal, “out of control” Black man), but it also perpetuates the rape culture’s notion that “normal” men are not rapists. The Twitter post says that it is the “white women” who “have to be armed.” Once again, this racializes rape and plays upon the trope from over a century ago that Black slaves raped White women.
All of these responses–from those of Hannity and Trotter to those of the internet harrassers–are disturbing. They also all point to the fact that our society cannot acknowledge that rape is not just something that scary Black men do to fragile White women who stay out too late at night. The online comments also show that we still live in an era where rape and rape threats are a way to control and silence women who demand more than what they have been given. Certainly the graphic and violent nature of the threats that Maxwell has been getting are aggressive and disturbing, but they are also imbued with a deep fear that we might finally start addressing rape on a social level rather than just an individual one.
I’m glad to see that throughout this Maxwell has been both diplomatic and fearless in standing by what she said on Fox. To continue the conversation, she published “5 Ways We Can Teach Men Not to Rape” with Ebony. My only big addition to it would be that we need to make very clear the role that the media and entertainment industry constructs rape culture. You can read her article here: http://www.ebony.com/news-views/5-ways-we-can-teach-men-not-to-rape-456#axzz2NFdP8FjR
I didn’t know that I would be writing a part two to my original post, but then I saw a 16-year-old White model in blackface as an “African Queen” as part of a photo shoot and had to.
Historically, blackface was used by White actors to portray African-Americans. These characters were never given a multidimensional identity and were instead always silly, lazy and unintelligent. Essentially, blackface was a tool for White culture to perpetuate a demeaning stereotype of African-Americans.
Decades later, what is blackface doing in a French fashion magazine? The White model, Ondria Hardin, appears to be depicting a colonial-era “African Queen.” The concept of the photo shoot could have been a great way to explore the strength and beauty of African queens like Amina of Zazzua who extended her territory and built new trade routes or Asantewa, the Ashanti queen who led the resistance against British colonizers in Ghana. This is not accomplished with painting a blonde sixteen-year-old and putting her in “traditional” African garb. Even the poses seem demure, subservient and at times sexualized. This editorial shows how colonial men looked at Women of Color when it could have focused on the power and regality of an African queen.
What upsets me the most is: could they really not find an African model to be the African queen? Or at least a Black model who wouldn’t have to be painted from head to toe? Women of Color are grossly underrepresented in high fashion (and commercial fashion for that matter) and when this editorial demanded Blackness as an aesthetic a White model was still used. This is certainly a testament to how difficult it must be to be a Woman of Color in the modeling industry, but more importantly it teaches us that Whiteness is the standard of beauty and Blackness is a fad that can be “tried on” by a White model.
Additionally, Hardin’s features are very European and her hair is kept its natural blonde as if to assure viewers that she is not actually Black nor is she actually promoting a Black ideal of beauty. Why not pick someone like Naomi Campbell (one of the most popular Black models) or Ajak Deng (a widely successful Black African model)? If they were trying to spark controversy why not a White African model not in blackface like Candice Swanepoel could have been interesting? Although given the title “African queen” and the colonial-era vibe this could still be problematic, it would at least be challenging our notion that to be African is to be Black rather than relying on a tool used by Whites to create Black identity.
The “African Queen” editorial is an affirmation of White beauty as well as a demonstration of the White “right” to appropriate, define and use other ethnicities and races when it sees fit but return to Whiteness at the end of the day. It tells its audience that a White model in blackface is more capable and qualified than a Black model. The editorial fails at promoting an aesthetic of Blackness because it is inauthentic, insincere and terrified to explore what that would really mean for the fashion industry’s homogeneous view of beauty.
joyceh93 